True story pt. 1

I'm going to tell the story of my life how I felt and lived it. Now the way I write is very different but its entertaining none the less and is going to help you all.

“Woke up pissed!! Why cause my life sucks. I try and smile but its killin me inside. Born a virgin still that way but still this pain I can’t take away. I hear them they beat on the door and their knocks I ignore. I can’t take this shit anymore. 22 years of pain and terror no wonder I need my Strattera. It wasn’t my fault I was born under the stars but it seems like it is. He’s so sprung off of her he don’t see it seems all he wants to do is beat it. Cruella is what I used to call her now they call me Cinderella. “Why you didn’t do this, why you didn’t do that all I get is pure smack. Smack yea that’s what I want to do but to God that would be untrue. What did I do wrong why do you despise me so how can I be your seed if never given water to grow. Maybe I have to rely on the rain to help ease my pain so this seed that was planted God will help it grow.” I wrote this on my way to church after waking up in my hell. Everything is fine is what I tell them knowing its all a lie. Born 22 years ago in the bathroom of my grandparents house. I was told I was the easiest birth of them all. I didn’t cry she didn’t scream I just had a big pretty smile with some big pretty eyes. I didn’t know what lay ahead of me. I didn’t know I was an unwanted guest in “her” world. Of course I was mommy’s first girl but her third child. She knew me, loved me but now she’s just my carrier. To him  he didn’t know my existence. I don’t know what happen between then and then being a newborn your mind just can’t bend. The story goes his brother saw the mother at the store, went back told his older brother who then told his mother that he made her another mother. The news was broken to her and well that’s when all the pain began. When the memories start to kick in I don’t remember no good just all bad and this is here might make you sad but hell from where I stand THIS SHIT MAKES ME MAD!!!!!

The truth

I made this blog to share with you my story. I have started a program called A.V.I.D and it stands for Active Virgin In Distinction. Basically I want to spread the word and let others know that is it okay to be a virgin. Society will have you thinking that sex is the only way to go well it's not. I am 22 years of age and I am still a virgin. Now many people in the world will say oh she's lying but anyone who know me personally will tell you nope she's telling the truth. Now why? You may ask well because I made up in my mind at the young age of 12 after hearing the stories from older family members about how this guy only wanted sex or how this girl was all about sex and when they didn't get it they left them heartbroken I knew I didn't want that. My father also talked to me about sex as a young girl he told me that boys are gonna come and tell me all sorts of things to try and make me have sex with them from saying I'm beautiful to buying me things and he said the ultimate pick up line is "If you love me then you will do it". He told me that no man truly loves you when he says that and if he does then he will wait until you are married. He also said that he loves me more than them. That stuck with me til this day and that is my motto "No sex until marriage". I struggled with this through all my relationships and thus all of them have failed because no guy I met wanted to wait so I took that as a stepping s to get to me and wait for the guy that God has designed just for me. This program is not only for girls but for guys too. Guys you matter I understand the pressures you go through from your friends and how they make fun because you have decided to wait until you find your soul mate and wait until marriage. I come from a family of Pastors and Evangelists and I have been called to teach and tell others the benefits of being a Virgin and let them know someone is here for them when they feel the pressures of this world. Now this program is not only about virgins but for those who chose to be born again and become born again Virgins I encourage that. We all sin and make mistakes no one is perfect but I am here to let you know "ITS OKAY". I'm going to be sharing my story with you all through poems and motivational messages all to help you through your pain also to help me heal. your comments are all welcome and if you want to talk just hit me up I am here for all. This blog is not only to talk to you about staying pure but to help you with all your life struggles and to let you know there is help out there with anything that your going through I probably have been through it or am going through it so don't be shy or scared to talk to me cause I am here for you. If you would like for me to speak at a function or anything just let me know I will see what I can do. GOD BLESS YOU ALL.