Black Girl Magic

Black girl magic, cant you see it, not so tragic cant believe it. Love my flaws love my curls love my naps wheres my pearls. I walk with a vengence, talk with a accent, dress like a model, gonna make em holla. My attitude is on a million you gon see me coming. I walk in the room demanding and the attention. Melanin drippin , herbal tea im sippin. Try me and ill show you i aint weak. Im all for peace and justice but I'll turn this motha out if need be. Educated, fine, rich, intelligent, bold, noble, unapologetic, spicy, wild, fun, free, happy, loving, spontaneous, creative, humble, swagnificent, warm, nurturing, sexy, beautiful, awesome, irreplaceable, QUEEN. Unashamed to be me. If I walk into your life you better cherish me cause once I'm gone there will never be another. Well spoken, was once broken but now im healed. Can't nobody tell me nothing cause I tell me something. I matter. My life matters. I am somebody and cant a nobody tell me any different. I am who i am and my magic is untouchable. Get you a me and see how precious your life will be! 

I'm Tired

I'M TIRED 

I'm tired of the same ol bs

Tired of waking up with a target on my chest

Tired of seeing the same ol routine

Tired of you lying and video evidence making you come clean

Tired of having to watch my back day in and day out

Tired of going for a jog and ending up dead

Tired of following commands and ending up shot

Tired of going to sleep and not waking up

Tired of going bird watching and being accused of trying to hurt karen

Tired of going to walmart to buy a legal gun and leaving in a body bag

Tired of getting pulled over for a routine traffic stop and suddenly committing suicide

Tired of running for my life and getting shot in the back

Tired of reading in my car and ending up getting my obituary read

Tired of sleeping in my car and waking up dead

Tired of my son playing with toy guns and being buried the next week

Tired of surviving car wrecks only to die by gun shots

Tired of waking up black and being reminded that it is a sin

Im tired of having the talk with my sons, brothers, nephews and cousins

I'm tired of you racist p.o.s. who kill my family and get away with it

I'm tired of racism period 

I'm tired of liars

I'm tired of hate

I'm tired of evil

I'm tired of prejudice people

I'm tired of white privilege 

Im tired, IM TIRED......GOT DAMMIT I'M TIRED!!!!! 

God's Love

I just love how God loves us no matter what! I have done wrong more than I have done right and no matter what, he is still there allowing me to get it right, picking me up when I fall, leading me back straight when I go astray. Its like no matter what we do, He is the one remaining constant in our lives. Even when we stop believing or start believing other things and other gods, Jehovah God is still loving us. His undying love for us is unmatched with anything in this world. I mean I went off totally did what I wanted to do and he stayed. I started dating women and ended up falling in love with a married woman and we were together for almost 5 years knowingly we were wrong but we couldn't help it. We both needed each other and weren't giving up on one another. I still love her to this day and part of me wants her but I came to the realization she doesnt want me, so we are friends. And through it all God never left myside. Through the hurt, pain humiliation embarrassment and all he still loved me. He has given me plenty of chances and never limited his grace and mercy on me. Things started falling apart in my life and I started doubting God and even resented going to church and reading my bible, but he never stopped showing me his love. I held onto unforgiveness for a very very long time towards my family, yet his love never stopped. I cursed my parents and grandparents, showed no love to my siblings and fellow brethren and yet he constantly showed me His love and compassion. I knowingly did wrong cause I know the word of God and he STILL has remained a constant in my life. The love that God gives is magnificent, its perfect, its excellent, it has no limit or restrictions, no guidelines and you dont have to do anything to get it nor lose it. Im sitting here typing this in awe of all the wrong I have done knowing and unknowingly and yet he is still showing me His love and I am grateful. He showed his ultimate Love thru His son Jesus Christ and if anyone can do that unwillingly then its nothing that I can do to deter him away from loving me. I suffer from depression and times the world is heavy but lately his Love is what keeps me pushing thru. I attempted suicide but failed many times cause his love wouldn't let me go like that, and I figured if someone loves me like that why would I be selfish and take my own life that he so graciously gave me. I continue to see his love, grace and mercy in my life everyday and I am beyond grateful for it all.
Hope this blesses someone today and please tell me about God's love in your life

Why am i here

I woke up today and surprised myself i just knew it was then end lastnight. Saw no bright lights, nothin but the end now i gotta begin again. I bought a new dress and some new shoes trynna change up my look hoping that will get someone to look. Bought some cute pjs, went to a party, got drunk said ayeee all night still no one there in sight. I partied more and more the weeks to come til i couldnt party anymore til finally my body said dont walk out that door. I havent fixed my hair, my nails are brittle, i smile only just a little, no shopping to do, no therapy shoes, jus days of silence and solitude. I cry myself to slp cuz no really cares all they want is to be nosey. I awake with swollen eyes and a puffy face and work everyday wishing to leave this place. Whats the point of living anymore i ask daily? Well whats the point? Can someone tell me? The voices keep telling me to do it and lately i been in tune with them. But how i ask? Pills they say and one day soon i might jus say ok! No one will really miss me i mean no one needs me here so whats the point of staying if im not happy here. I feel like im drowning with no way up, do i want help maybe. Maybe not. I found my knife, its in my pocket, if i cut my arm will this pain take the place of this other pain or will it be jus as bad idk, i think ill try it and see. I woke up this morning nd i was surprised to see me

Father

A father is a protector, a guide, a wise man who knows from the time of conception, to the time of his unknown demise, he is to be the example his children shall see. No laziness abides him, no bitterness befalls him. He is a proud man of all his children no matter how far they should go. He has dreams for his childrens and kind words to say to them. He builds them up, never tears them down encouraging them every step of the way. He is a Godly man, following God's word taking care of his family in every way possible. From the bath time, to the feeding time, to the sports days, to the dance recitals he is there and present. He may miss a few activities due to unforeseen circumstances but let it be known his heart is to always be there for his kids. From her first breath, to her crossing that stage to her finding her self and her boaz finding her, he is there for her never selfish always selfless and willing to give his all. From finding out its a boy, to watching him shoot his first basket, to teaching him how to treat a woman, to sending him off into the world to become a better man he is always there. A fathers job is never done, he leaves a legacy behind for his kids to follow and keep his name alive. Well into his years his kids may never know just how deep and strong a fathers love may go. So to you fathers around the world, stand tall in your children's life, you are the first example they see on how a man should be, some good, some bad but remember they do see. You can buy your kids the world and they'll want the moon too but the time you spend and what you instill in them is better than any dollar amount you spent. So father's I salute you and thank you for all you do. And to my dad you're the best an example for the rest!

The feels

Ever give your all to someone. I mean your complete all, you mind, body and soul and then find out your not good enough for them. You thought the were you friend but turn out to be perfect little liars. All the promises yall made are all gone away.  Promises to be there for each other no matter what only to find out its not true. You try your best to move on but everyday something reminds you of what yall had, and its like that pain is back and its not jus a regualr pain nope, its worse much worse. It mind boggling, heart wrenching almost like drowning in ice things are so cold. To see that you wasted your time and that you failed, when all you wanted to do was be there for them. Words cant express how you feel so the tears stain your pillow, they cripple you at the knees and make your days turn to night and your nights never end. You try to make sense of it but you can't, was I too fat, too short, too broke, to ugly, did my breath stink, did I smell, was i too passive, too aggressive, too nice, too mean what did I do to make you treat me like you do. All these questions run through your mind and you realize, you just wasted your time. The last time yall made love really was the last time yall made love. You didn't think abt it, you couldn't see it, and you really couldn't feel it. Like a thief in the night it was gone here one day and gone the next. You try to fix it but they tell you, they dont love you and thats the end of it. You're a wreck!

Wake up

STOP! JUST STOP! The world we live in today is in disarray, its time to stand up and make a change long ago our people came together and started a movement in the right direction only for the new generations to come and set us back. Its time for us to reunite with our brothers and take that stand! Its time for men to be men no more beating and belittling our women, no more turning them out and selling them out. Stop glorifying temporary things like money cars and fame cause when you die all you get is a box and 6ft grave and you taoe wit you your soul full of all yo sins. Stop wearing womens clothes and trynna be like a woman if  Jehovah God didnt create you like that then evidently he didnt want you to be one. He is perfect he makes no mistakes, stop letting the devil block and trick your mind into believing something different get into the Word of God and see His truth. Be the man he created you to be or the puppet satan sees you as. Its time for the King in you to rise and show the world who you really are stop being a coward and so emotional that you can't take some pain in order to grow. When you get older you will realize how much time you wasted being blinded by satan. Show then jext generation what a real man does and stop being little boys in adult bodies. Women its time for you to take your place beside your men and stay in your place. Stop showing off your body for instagram likes and money cause when you die no one will remember or even care how many likes a pic got. But your soul will carry all the sins so get right before its too late. Women should he seen and not heard but yet all we do is be seen. And you wonder why you can't find a husband. A man finds his wife Adam woke up to find Eve waiting for him. Stop playing the role of a man and ending up broken hearted cause you don't know your place. Be a whole you before you become a half of him. Find yourself in Christ and stop letting these boys pick you up off a shelf play with you and then put you back. Stop jumping from male to male to satisfy and nonexistent need.  Its ok to not have sex I promise you will live, find other things to calm your loins and in due time things will get better. Its time its past time to be better, this generation is so lost but its not too late we will celebrate once we all reunite! I pray for us as a people, as a whole, as a generation young and old. We need each other to survive its only getting worse out here and we need to stay prayed up. Let His Will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven!